


Gourmet Makes: Saka’s Kettle

by Opalsong



Category: Bon Appétit Test Kitchen (Web Series), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Cooking, Gen, Humour, episode fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22973383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalsong/pseuds/Opalsong
Summary: Is there any way to make Saka’s Kettle better? We think so. Join pastry chef Claire Saffitz in the Bon Appétit Test Kitchen on Coruscant as she attempts to make gourmet Saka’s Kettle.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 17





	Gourmet Makes: Saka’s Kettle

**Author's Note:**

> Created for Exmanhater for the Awesome Ladies Podfic Anthology X! Please go check out her wonderful podfic!!  
> Popcorn recipe here: https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/perfect_popcorn/  
> Flavouring recipe(s) here: https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/articles/50-flavored-popcorn-recipes  
> Thanks to Reena_Jenkins for the food inspiration! Thanks to Bessyboo for help on casting the various species of people.

Claire is standing behind the BA test kitchen filming station and laughing so hard her lekku shiver. Brad is standing across the kitchen yelling “just one more! come on, we can do it!” Claire laughs and throws another popped grain at him. Brad opens his mouth to catch it but at the last moment Chris walks into the shot and the kernel bounces off his shiny blue head. He turns to look at the camera, long neck twisting.

[Title Card: Gourmet Makes Saka’s Kettle]

A quick montage plays, mostly clips of things going wrong in the gourmet makes process, as usual. Three clips stand out, the first is a clip of a popped kernel that appears to be lodged in the ceiling, in the second Claire turns on a mixer and powder explodes everywhere, covering her completely, and the third is oh Claire, head down on the table, lekku drooping to either side as she says “I thought it would be easy.”

The camera focuses in on Claire, dark lekku behind her back, single white stripe shining in the Coruscanti morning sun, standing behind the Gourmet Makes filming station.

“Hey everyone I’m Claire and today I’m making gourmet Saka’s Kettle.”

With that, the camera pulls back to show bags and bags of popped grain, a riot of different flavours and colours.

[Title card: Part One What is Saka’s Kettle]

Claire seems happy as she talks to the camera. “I’m really excited to make this episode! I loved Saka’s Kettle as a kid but I haven’t had them in years.”

The camera zooms in on the bags of Saka’s Kettle as Claire continues to talk, “Saka’s Kettle is a version of popped grain. I remember it being salty and buttery as a kid but somehow different from the kind you got at the movies. There are so many flavours now, but I remember the original being the best.”

She opens a bag of the original and makes a happy noise at the smell. “This smells just like I remember!” She takes a kernel out of the bag and looks at it. The kernel is nicely popped, bright red in colour, and has a powdery coating.

Claire brushes at it and the powdery coating clings to the kernel, only some brushing off onto her fingers, staining her dark skin bright red.

“Interesting, the kernel itself seems to be pale yellow or even white under the coating. And the topping isn’t quite like the coating on a chip, it doesn’t want to come off the kernel, but it will if I rub.”

She pops the kernel into her mouth. “Hm. That isn’t quite like I remember. It is both salty and a little sweet but only traces.”

She continues her dissection of the kernels, tasting a bunch of different flavours, letting them melt on her tongue, trying to taste just the grain and just the topping.

After a minute or two of pondering the Kettle on her own, the video cuts to Chris taking the tiniest bites his Kaminoine mouth will allow.

A cut to Claire talking with Brad, “It’s basically just popped grain with a topping right?”

“But what kind of grain, Claire?” Brad says in his most spacer troll voice.

“I don’t- why would you ask that?” Claire sputters in despair, “Why are you even back? Aren’t you supposed to be sand fishing on Tattooine or something?”

Another cut and Alex Delaney is practically standing on the counter to get in frame with Claire and grabbing handfuls of popped grain, Dug-style, and shoving them into his mouth. “This stuff is great! You can totally do better.”

Another cut and,

“And now for my favourite part: reading the ingredients.” Claire reads off a long list of ingredients, some of which seem very esoteric. It is a lot for what looks to be fairly basic popped grain. The list appears on screen, surrounding Claire.

“That is a lot of ingredients for popped grain, but I think most of them are preservatives.”

After some internet research and a hilarious video about Kasa, Claire is back at the filming counter.

“I’m actually feeling really good about this. It is basically popped grain with a topping. And I think that I can improve on it with some better grain and some more gourmet topping ingredients.”

[Title Card: Part Two How Do You Make Saka’s Kettle]

Regular Gourmet Makes shenanigans ensue. Including Claire assuming it will be easy, and that definitely not being the case. Brad wanders in and builds a popcorn spinner out of spare parts. Claire tries to give up on day two, despairing over ever getting the grain right and Molly wanders by and suggests increasingly obscure grains until they eventually find the right one. For three minutes of video, the camera keeps cutting to Brad and Delaney having a lightsaber duel with empty paper towels in the background. At one point, Claire mixes up a topping, trying out a truly esoteric combination of ingredients and the spice mixer practically blows up in her face. Brad walks in and his pale, human skin starts turning a startling shade of red. 

But eventually she figures it out. We wouldn’t want to spoil the whole episode for you so we’ll skip to the recipe.

[Title Card: Part Three How To Make {Gourmet} Saka’s Kettle]

Claire in voiceover, accompanied by clips from the show, “How to make Gourmet Saka’s Kettle. For Topping: grind enough Crait Red Salt in a spice grinder to make two teaspoons powdered salt. Colour should be bright red. Brown six tablespoons butter over medium heat. Set aside and keep warm. Add grated lemon zest for extra wow factor. For popped grain: Source 250 grams of unpopped, unprocessed Alderannian Grain kernels. Melt three tablespoons Naboo nut oil in a large heavy bottomed pot over medium heat. Test with three or four kernels to make sure the temperature is right. Once the kernels pop, remove pot from heat and add the rest of the kernels and cover. Count out loud for thirty seconds and place pot back on heat. Kernels should begin popping immediately. Shake the pan gently to encourage even popping. Prop lid slightly ajar to allow steam to escape. Once popping slows to several seconds between pops, remove from heat and pour popped grain into a large bowl. Drizzle browned butter over top. Toss popped grain, adding salt intermittently, to encourage even coating, making sure to use a large enough bowl to allow for tossing.

The camera pans one last time over the bowl of Saka’s Kettle.

[Bon Appetit Title Card]

A final scene plays of Brad and Alex attempting to fit as many popped kernels into their mouths as possible without crushing them or choking, while Claire looks on in exhausted horror.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] Gourmet Makes: Saka’s Kettle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980013) by [exmanhater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/exmanhater/pseuds/exmanhater)




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